Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
Randomize
