I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
Are these your boobs on my camera?
Randomize
