Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
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I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
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Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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