How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
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