ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
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