we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
Randomize
