I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
is that a dick in a sweater?
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
Randomize