where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
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