whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
Randomize
