Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
Too much gin, very little bucket
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
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I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
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