What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
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