so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
Randomize
