She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
I’m turning 34 on Friday and I feel like the only thing I’ve accomplished in life so far is getting into pissing matches with clients
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