I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
I went 670% over budget on my vacation. My accountant would flip if he weren't me.
How the fuck do you have so much free time?
Polyphasic sleep schedule.
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
Randomize
