is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
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