you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
Randomize