i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
lol hangovers are for mortals.
Randomize
