Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
It's just like the Real World with babies
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
Randomize
