the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
We're using joints as your birthday candles
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
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