Yo dont text me then not text me
from now on my penis is your penis
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
Randomize
