Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
Randomize
