Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
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