I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
