Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
Randomize
