allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
Dick very happy bro
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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