WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
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