Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Randomize
