dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
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