where am i from again
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
Randomize
