Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
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I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
They have beer where we have blood.
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
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