I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
I will be naked everywhere
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
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