so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
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