Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
Randomize
