Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
Randomize
