this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
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