Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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