I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
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