ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
Randomize
