rhymes with "ouble enetration"
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
Reason #84 I'm on my way to becoming a crazy cat lady: I called the police last night because I heard a noise and the cats were acting funny like they were trying to tell me something. The 3rd time the dispatcher repeated "the cats are acting funny?" I yelled and told her to have an officer ask the cats what happened.
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
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