He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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