Sponge bath it is.
OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
Randomize
