She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
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