haha omg you stole $185 from a passed out drunk indian on your porch and called the ambulance??
savin' lives aint cheap
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize
