I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
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