she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug
This is sufficient.
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
Randomize
