in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
Randomize