I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Randomize
