Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
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