i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
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