Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
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