hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
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