God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
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