i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
Randomize