ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
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