some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
Randomize
