i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
Randomize
