I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
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