I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
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Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
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A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
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